3/17 - city goo
Tuesday’s Newsletter: otter slippers, cheese warehouse, fraud
I’ve started writing more. It’s imperfect, not my favorite, but it’s getting my brain to spontaneously elicit ideas and pitches, which is ultimately the goal. I give myself prompts, a time limit, and then I record what I’ve written and post it on Instagram. It feels awkward and a little embarrassing. When I was posting on TikTok, I felt like I was screaming into the void but people I know, like a random uncle or an old neighbor, watch my reels.
It’s all in the pursuit of being real. Getting better. Desensitizing myself to being seen.
I’ve included what I’ve written so far at the bottom of this newsletter for paid subscribers, enjoy : )
Thought Starters
The 30 under 30 curse strikes again
*article*
I will never pass up a 30 under 30 exposé but this one is lacking the juice. Does it looking there was fraud and nefarious dealings? Yes. But this isn’t much different than what other crypto and tech companies get away with on a daily basis. When an industry becomes so lawless, it’s not as fun to celebrate the downfall of a sin-eater.
“According to the indictment, Güven had been keeping a bogus set of books to entice investors. While she claimed an annual revenue north of $1 million, the real number was much more modest: Kalder had made only $60,000 in total revenue since 2023. Feds say she cooked the books and invented deals with top clients, including Godiva, to ‘swindle’ investors out of $7 million as she burned through their money trying to get the company upright.”
“‘There’s a famous Silicon Valley thing where you have a very gray line of faking it until you make it,’ says one former adviser. ‘But this was not a gray area.’”
“Demirors said she was not surprised by Güven’s invention. ‘Reputation laundering happens a lot in venture and crypto, and it’s impossible to control,’ she wrote. The fabrications accrued. Even though Nike was listed as a partner on Kalder’s site, the sports giant said in an email that Kalder ‘does not appear on any of our contracts.’ Booking.com said in an email that it ‘does not have a partnership’ despite the suggestion otherwise on Kalder’s website.”
Things to do
Body & Pole student showcase
When: March 21st, 6:30 pm
Where: Drom, 85 Avenue A
What: My friend Sara, who is a constant inspiration, has recently gotten into pole dancing. I see the joy and freedom she’s experienced with movement and I say to myself: “gimme that.” One of her instructors is involved with this student showcase and if you, like me, are curious about signing up for classes, you should go to this. Get a taste!
Homecoming floral design workshop
When: March 26th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm
Where: Homecoming, 116 Franklin St
What: Snacks, wine, and a two hour floral workshop at one of the cutest shops in the city.
C. Hesse Cheese warehouse sale
When: March 28, 12 - 4 pm
Where: 53 Bridge St, Suite 610
What: Fuck it up in a cheese warehouse. Get your fill and get your pick of the (cheese) litter. They’ll recommend wine pairings and you can gab about rinds, aging, and curds (??) - admittedly my own cheese knowledge is a bit sparse.
Products
Otter slippers
*shoes*
I bought these at the Shedd aquarium in Chicago and I’ve never been happier. I wish I could wear them everywhere all the time without worrying they’d get damaged or ruined by the goo of the city.
What is it? Otter slippers
How much? $31
Personal Essays
I’m sick (🤒 not 😎)
It starts with webMD. No, it actually starts with a sneaking suspicion the night before that I ignore. I’m great at clocking signs everywhere but my own body. I hear them but I don’t listen to them. Or I willfully misinterpret them, scouring Reddit threads for the worst case scenario. I woke up yesterday with a lump in my throat, the now-familiar sensation of an inflamed tonsil. How youthful of me. Except I’m not a youth. There is no one here to hold my hand or call the shots. It’s just me and my body.
