1/23 - Ballerina Farm vs the patriarchy, 311 for dating, and a jammy jam
Tuesday’s Newsletter
Well, it’s Tuesday and I don’t have much to say, so I’ll kick us off with a song rec:
:)
Thought Starters
The moms rally against Ballerina Farm
*article*
Ballerina Farm is one of those accounts I check semi-regularly. I feel the same low hum of curiosity and skepticism as when I’m flipping through channels on a hotel TV and land on QVC. They’re clearly not being transparent about what they’re selling and while I’m not in the loop on the quality of the product, there’s every indication that something’s afoot: the plastered on smiles, the promise of an improved life… I watch it for a couple minutes but get bored and flip to Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives.
Turns out, not everybody engages with the account the way I do and some women are very upset at the lead ballerina herself. Hannah Neeleman gave birth to her eighth child and a week later competed for the title of Mrs. World. Writer, Stephanie McNeal, explains the uptick in rage over the past 4 years and asks us to examine its root cause. Here’s a hint: it doesn’t have to do with an influencer.
“How dare she, the commenters said. By competing in a pageant so soon after giving birth, by wearing makeup and traveling and slipping into a dress while (probably) still bleeding and, worst of all, looking hot, Neeleman was being dangerously irresponsible at best, and deviously sinister at worst.”
“‘Hannah’s experience and circumstances are quite unique,’ she says. ‘The problem is not that she’s setting unrealistic expectations of postpartum but rather that we are expecting her to set expectations at all. I would ask those criticizing why it isn’t okay for her to make this decision for herself. I believe she, just like every other woman, has the right to make decisions about her own body.’”
People to know
Gen Z’s Dating Coach
I met Stevie during a matchbook collage event at RecCreate Collective. As we were leafing through 90’s magazines and I was cutting out shrimp for my collage inspired by the Garden of Eden and The Godfather, she told me about stumbling into writing a memoir on dating in 2020. It was the height of the pandemic, she had recently lost her job and began writing letters to her past dates. The letters didn’t stop and soon she had enough to self-publish a book titled, The City of Dating: A Memoir.
This exploration of her love life helped her uncover a new philosophy for dating. People get caught up in the long-term, like finding a perfect match and locating their soul mate. Stevie thinks dating has a lot more to do with you as an individual than how another person can “complete you.”
During our conversation, I kept thinking about Casey Lewis’ recent newsletter about dating in 2024. Dating apps are out, but Gen Z is still romantic as hell. That’s where Stevie comes in. She passionate about helping people gain the confidence to navigate the dating scene and that all starts with knowing what you want from a relationship in the first place.
To me, dating coaches à la UES are synonymous to matchmakers for the elite, wealthy, powerful people who are ready to procreate. But not Stevie. She’s offering date support calls (think 311 for before/after a date), the dating narrative program (learn from your past, define your boundaries, and clarify your intentions), and 1:1 coaching.
Her service launched this week and if you want to get a taste of her perspective, check out her advice column here.
Things to do
JAM by Bungalow East x RecCreate Collective
When: February 2nd, 7 - 9 pm
What: Two of my favs are coming together for an intimate indie show at RecCreate’s studio in Clinton Hill. Eliza Elliott will perform (jam out) for a 45 minute set while attendees enjoy jam-themed desserts. Attendees will also enjoy complimentary wine and bevs from Ghia.
That Reality Bar: Pop Culture Trivia
When: February 25th, 5 - 7 pm
What: Again, the girlies are hitting it out of the park. Until we say goodbye to this frigid weather, we’ll have events to keep us warm. Join Syd and Dara for trivia at Talea’s West Village location. The questions will cover all things pop culture and the room is destined to be ripe for friendship. Make sure you arrive early, seating is first-come-first-served.
Products
Embroidered Bow Ballet Flat by Salter House & Loeffler Randall
*footwear*
Please don’t hate me, but I have to tell you about something that’s sold out. Say what you will about the Salter House aesthetic, I’m a sucker for their funky lux goods (like this nightgown I’ve been begging for and was recently gifted).
I knew this shoe was going to fly off the shelves before I had a chance to write about it but I have two kinda solutions for you: sign up for Salter House to notify you when they’re in stock and sign up for Loeffler Randall to notify you (Loeffler Randall still has a few left in the larger sizes). I definitely threw my email in the hat(s).
What is it? Embroidered Bow Ballet Flat by Salter House & Loeffler Randall
How much? $275